A Chilling Glimpse of the Future...

 

It's too bloody hot everywhere at the moment. Absolute murder at Dagfields all day yesterday. 28 degrees of heat and 5 post-menopausal women having to work together in a glass box inside a windowless metal barn. I mean, it's asking for trouble. There'll be an incident before long and it's not going to be pretty. Then you find out Sharon can't come because BT are coming round and you've got to look after Robbie the Dog all day, and he stinks from rolling around in something unmentionable. And finally, to cap it all, you go to the hairdresser, the air conditioning's broken and all he wants to do is talk about Stoke City and rock music with his mate that's just walked in off the street whilst he should be focussing on my wash-in tint... 

Jury Service

They've just rung me up and I've got to be at the bloody Crown Court for 3 weeks to do this jury service. 3 weeks! How am I supposed to cope with that? I can barely stand up after spending all of Bank Holiday Monday at Dagfields and I still haven't priced up these Beanie Babies. Anyway, be quiet while I watch Jonathan Pratt valuing these antique walking sticks. That one was originally a bull's penis, apparently...

Getting to grips with Google Hangouts

Auditioning for Antiques Road Trip

I don't bloody know whether I'm coming or going with this constant changing of cars and motorbikes that your father does. One minute it's a Mitsubishi, the next minute it's a Citroen and now it's this bloody Mazda. How anyone can expect me to get into anything this low with my pelvis, I don't know.  And this boot's ridiculous. You could barely even get an Art Deco radium glass sucrier into it, let alone a Moorcroft jardinière.

Victoria Beckham's Lunchbox

Mint condition, rarely used...

Priceless Antique Doll

Woman on Bargain Hunt (ink on paper), 2013

Shattered Woman Reclining with Plastic Bag and Cushion (2013)

Google Hangouts

I wish somebody would tell me how these bloody Google Hangouts work. It keeps popping up saying, "You were in a Hangout", and I just wasn't. What's going on? I'm busy enough as it is, having to look after Robbie the Dog day in day out, without the added trauma of Google telling me I've done things I haven't done. And now I've got this new Samsung phone without any buttons on it. How I get the photos out of it, I've no idea. This woman from Dagfields was telling me I just have to hold it near the computer and the photos just get absorbed into it. I don't understand that at all. I'm meant to be going to Norfolk, but I'm just so worn out by technology that I can't face it.

I Feel Pregnant