Cult status

I can't cope with this cult status. There's even some Australian woodcraft experts from Brisbane following me now. I'm not in the right frame of mind to be a celebrity, not with my pelvis torturing me night and day. And I've got Evie starting school this week to worry about on top of it all. She had her first day yesterday. 'What did you do at school today?' I asked her. She just shrugged and said, 'I spent a highly satisfactory hour producing a pastoral composition of grazing cattle in mixed media and was subsequently absorbed in a fascinating absurdist novella detailing the epic struggle of a menagerie of animals to disinter an unfeasibly gargantuan turnip. What did you do, Grandmother?' 'Ooh,' I said, 'I'm just totally worn out. I've had to assemble this Matchbox car set to check that it's complete and then I've priced up those pressed glass ashtrays. Wait till you're my age. Then you'll know what hard work is...'