London

Right, are you listening? Can you go on the internet and find out if there are any restaurants in London? We've got Julian's fashion show http://www.julianjsmith.co.uk/ to go to tomorrow and there's going to be about 15 of us, and if they're not going to let me have a cigarette by the catwalk, then we're going to need to get to a restaurant quickly so I can smoke on the pavement outside. And it will have been hours since I'll have last eaten, so my thyroid will be going mental. And I've been put on these tablets for my hot flushes because I'm just burning up, but your father says they don't work, so I might just have to have access to water and air conditioning. And besides, I'm going to need a decent lunch after two hours forced to sit there watching a load of Latvians parading up and down in fuchsia catsuits. It's enough stress having to put up with London as it is. It's a lot busier than Cheshire, I'm telling you now. It's ridiculous.