Hard day at Dagfields

Vaughn! Vaughn! Help me in with this Arts and Crafts washstand. I've ruined my coccyx with too much standing. I must have walked ten miles at Dagfields. The other women don't understand. They said to me today, they said, 'Pat, can you go and open cabinet 47?' and I just thought, 'What did your last slave die of? You didn't live with an alcoholic for 20 years. Open cabinet 47 yourself.' And of course, I have to traipse right over to the other end of the building to open up bloody cabinet 47, and you know that the woman who's asked for it to be opened is never going to buy anything, cos she's just one of these timewasters who's come on a coach trip from Liverpool. So she says she's interested in this Japanese lacquered chopstick etui, and I just thought, what do you want with a Japanese lacquered chopstick etui? You look like more of a Breton faience kitchenware type of person to me. But anyway, it turns out she was a label-swapper. She stuck the label off one of those mugs in the shape of a chunk of Dairy Milk onto a Waterford rose bowl while I wasn't looking and got away with it at the check out. Must have done us out of £60 easily. Sickens you, doesn't it? Ooh, get me a Lambert and Butler for my nerves...