Muppet Extreme Problem Solving (Carly Simon remix)

Dog Urine

I've been trying to plan a holiday, but it's just too stressful, so I just don't think I can bring myself to go anywhere. Everywhere you go, it's either too hot, the flight's too long or they don't speak proper English, so you might as well just stay at home. I mean, it's enough to send your blood pressure through the roof trying to get a decision out of Kirsty and besides, they want a beaches and bloody mountains to go running up, so where are you supposed to go for that? I think I'd rather just stay at home and look after Evie, only now she's lost her lipstick and eyeshadow in the shape of a mobile phone, so there'll be hell to pay if that doesn't turn up behind the settee.

I tell you, it's just easier to stay here and forget the idea of holidays, because then there's the dog who can't be left five minutes without needing to empty his bladder. Your father and I have spent the last 25 years mopping up dog urine. It's just a blessing that this floor's Amtico, that's all I'm saying.

That Manchester

They all have to be different up in That Manchester. It's not like Stoke where everybody's normal...