People have been asking if I would do a round up of 2010, but they don't seem to understand that I just don't have the time, not in this weather anyway. It's too cold to think. Anyway, I suppose I could do a brief run down on a month by month basis:
January - can't remember much, apart from that terrible virus that wiped me out completely. I will have had to cope on my own while everyone went swanning off skiing, I imagine. Seem to remember selling a jug and a gateleg table to somebody from Canada. Or was it Cannock? Same difference.
February - Possibly went to Fuerteventura, or that could have been March. Either way, it was too common, too hot and I got another virus. Laid up for weeks.
March - Still laid up from Fuerteventura, so had to limit visits to Dagfields to 4 per week. Koreans cleaned me out of pressed glass ashtrays again, so had to struggle out to Peter Wilson's auction rooms a couple of times to restock. Went to Wales, possibly, or it could have been Bury St Edmunds. Your memory doesn't work the same when you're my age.
April - Dreadful virus. Proper swine flu this time. Only managed to get into the bungalow to clean it four times, so it must have been bad.
May - Bid on a box-load of Crested Ware for £45 and managed to sell the lot for £47, so that helped cover some of the rent at Dagfields. All the other dealers leaving in droves because they can't make enough of a profit. They just haven't got the eye like me. Terrible cold.
June - Vomiting bug. Up and down to the bathroom all night like a yoyo. Nothing else happened.
July - Definitely went somewhere. It's on the tip of my tongue. I'm thinking it might have been France. Either that or Lanzarote, Marbella, Cyprus, Norfolk, Ireland or John Lewis in Manchester. It's these constant viruses that lead to geographical confusion. Not too bad this month though. Just the flu again.
August - Hot flushes again. Sweltering all night. This is the problem with the summer. You can never work out if it's the weather or the menopause.
September - Spent most of the time worrying about Julian's fashion show. Needn't have worried. It all went very well in the end and all of the models even made it to the end of the catwalk alive.
October - Flu back with a vengeance. Was lucky to see the month out. You don't get any sympathy though. Still, at least all these viruses must mean my immune system is one of the most varied and interesting you can possibly have. Have now officially reached antique capacity at home. Not one surface is unoccupied by a Caithness paperweight or a Beswick pig. Will need to look into renting another unit at Dagfields. Or another house.
November - Not speaking to Kirsty. Screamed at me because I said I couldn't look after Evie on my Dagfields day. Evie just said, 'I don't think this shrill, dysfunctional aggression that arises every time the issue of my childcare needs to be addressed is particularly productive. Can you not just try to moderate your language a little? I'm trying to watch Mamma Mia.' She is funny. Oh, and now I've completely forgotten how to cook. Can't even remember how to do mashed potato any more. The only thing I've managed to do recently is boil an onion. That was quite successful, but the rest's a disaster. And now the U-bend of the sink's clogged with shepherd's pie. I just want to give up.
December - This weather's just ridiculous. How are you supposed to run an antiques unit in sub zero temperatures? None of the other dealers understand. They always just leave me to do Saturdays on my own and with my viruses as well. Anyway, where can I put these figurines I just got at Peter Wilson of a camp boy flautist and a dog with a suspicious interest in a flapper girl's crotch?
Oh and have a good Christmas if you can. You'll probably get this virus that's going around, but just go to bed with some paracetamol and you should be OK. That's what I'll be doing anyway.
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