Shattered Woman Reclining with Plastic Bag and Cushion (2013)

Google Hangouts

I wish somebody would tell me how these bloody Google Hangouts work. It keeps popping up saying, "You were in a Hangout", and I just wasn't. What's going on? I'm busy enough as it is, having to look after Robbie the Dog day in day out, without the added trauma of Google telling me I've done things I haven't done. And now I've got this new Samsung phone without any buttons on it. How I get the photos out of it, I've no idea. This woman from Dagfields was telling me I just have to hold it near the computer and the photos just get absorbed into it. I don't understand that at all. I'm meant to be going to Norfolk, but I'm just so worn out by technology that I can't face it.

I Feel Pregnant

Chromebook Crisis

http://www.sporcle.com/games/worldofpat/what-is-it-that-covers-the-trachea-again

How well do you know the agony? Test yourself here...

http://www.sporcle.com/games/worldofpat/world-of-pat-moan-match

Childbirth 2: The Revenge

Total Lack of Symphysistic Sympathy

It's an avocet, not a bloody duck...

World of Pat's Sporcle debut

I'm too shattered to blog this week and, besides, there's an apocalyptic snow event forecast, so there's no way I'll be able to get out to Dagfields. You'll just have to guess what I'm moaning about this week. World of Pat Moan Match

Fleam

I don't know what's going on with this Chromebook. Every time I go on it, I keep getting your father's email. It's no good telling me to log it off. How?! I never used to have to log off the old one, but this one's just far too complicated. What do you mean, 'Control Shift Q'. That's just nonsense to me. There's nothing that says control anywhere that I can see. I'll just have to go back to my Tiscali.

Anyway, I've just sold a fleam. Misspelt it on the label with a 'ph', because I had 'phlegm' on the brain, but I changed it and it sold straight away. You don't know what that is, do you? It's for bloodletting. They're surprisingly popular in Stoke, fleams. Must be a bit of a bloodletting hotspot. Sold it to a tall man with tattoos and a shaved head. Made quite a good profit on it, anyway. Anyway, I've got another virus and it's knocked me out, so I'd better have a fag and go to bed...